A Cobra Girl
by Izout
Summary: Helen Powell was very confused by how her neighbor and his friends were acting. Since when did she ever hang out with the Cobras?


Not mines, don't see.

A/N: Just poking some fun at the whole "Girl in the Cobras" fics. I seek not to offend, only to amuse myself.

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Helen Powell had just pulled up to her house and went into the backseat to grab some of the groceries she bought when she looked across the lawn and saw a bunch of cars parked around the Tessio house. Strange, normally Billy wouldn't have all his friends over.

"'Bout time you showed up!" called out a voice. "Geez, I was wondering what was taking your ass so long?" Helen turned her head and saw that it was a skinny blond boy that called her out. It was Billy's friend, Charlie Hogan was it? Helen just raised an eyebrow.

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

"Fuzzy and Vince were having this bet about how long it would have taken you to get here. Looks like Vince out some cash." Charlie then laughed at this, but he smile quickly faded as he leaned against the railing. "Oh come on, Lenny, you know I'm only just messin' with ya. We're friends after all."

Helen just stood there flabbergast. "Friends? What are you talking about Charlie, we're not - " but Helen got unfortunately cut off when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and pulled her closer to a solid body, a pair of lips touching her temple.

"Hey baby." whispered a voice. Nearly jumping out of her skin, Helen quickly pried herself out of the person's grasp and turned to face the person, shocked at who she saw.

"What the hell—Richard?" Helen asked, her eyes widening in surprised.

"_Eyeball_," Eyeball stressed. "And what's wrong Lenny? You know we're dating." He explained to her.

"Dating? But I already have a boyfriend!" Helen corrected him. "And why are you both calling me 'Lenny'?"

"You're not talking about Ace, are you?" Eyeball asked, completely ignoring her question, "I know me and him have been fighting over you, but I'm in that weird position where I want to be with you, but I don't want to go against Ace and—"

"Wait wait wait!" Helen cut him off, waving her hands in air in front of her. "You and Ace are fighting over me? _Me_?" Eyeball nodded his head. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Out of nowhere, she felt an arm wrap her waist again. Helen shoved herself off of whoever was that, and glared at who she saw.

"Well aren't you the little tease, Lenny." Drawled a cool voice, the person then smirking as he saw the look Helen was shooting him.

"Ace, guys, will you stop calling me 'Lenny'? My name is Helen!" She told them, putting her hands on her hips.

"But that's your nickname." Billy told her as he walked up to the group. "Remember, you told us how much you hated your real name so we came up with that one."

"What? I like my name; I don't have a problem with it!" She explained to them. "And even if I did, why would I tell any of you that?"

"Because you're a Cobra, you're one of us." Billy explained to her like it was the most obvious thing in the world, the others shaking their heads. Helen just stared at them like they were growing apple trees out of the top of their heads.

"I.. what… a Cobra… me… I…" Helen stammered as she tried to find her words. "What the hell? I would never join a bunch of hoodlums like you!" Then she paused as if she was remembering something, "And the last time I ever did anything with you all was back in, what, third grade? I have my own friends."

"Yeah, me and Billy's kid brothers, and those Duchamp and Lachance kids." Eyeball growled under his breath.

If Helen was confused before, she was even more now. Where the hell did he get the idea she was friends with a bunch of twelve years old? Once in a while, she would offer Vern and his friends a ride home from school since the route to and from her house to her job passed by their school, and she would try to make some small talk like ask how their day was or what homework assignments they had, but that was the extent of her interactions with them.

"Hey Lenny, what are you wearing?" Vince asked her as he walked out of Billy's house. "Why aren't you in your jeans and T-shirts? Why the skirt and sweater?"

"What are you talking about?" Helen asked him as she slapped her forehead, by now she was getting tired of asking that question. " I've always worn skirts and sweaters when I'm going out. And stop calling 'Lenny'."

"But you told us that you don't like wearing that stuff since you aren't like all the other girls who spent their time talking about boys and doing their makeup and painting their nails." Charlie told her.

"This is how I always dress!" Helen practically screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Hey guys, I think I know what's going on here." Ace suddenly spoke, then smirk at her. "I'm betting Lenny here still hung up over her boyfriend Denny's death, that's why she acting like my grandmother when she's having an anxiety attack." Ace nodded his head in understanding.

"I do not like Denny like that—Denny and I never…" Helen stammered as a light blush ran across her cheeks. Truth of the matter is, she _did_ use to have a brief crush on Denny Lachance back she was eleven.

"Well don't worry; I'll help you get over him." Ace told her as he grabbed her shoulders and planted a kiss on her lips.

Her response was automatic, she put her hands on his chest, and shoved him away violently, a look of pure fury on her face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded. Then she paused as if something just came to her. "Oh my God, you just kissed me, ugh!" Helen's face twisted in horror as she started making gagging sounds and spitting, wiping her tongue with her fingers, doing everything she could to get the taste of Ace Merrill out of her mouth.

"Geez, what is up with Lenny? It's her time of the month or something?" Eyeball asked before the group started out laughing. Helen just stared at them as she realized the surrealistic situation she was in. These boys, the Cobras, were saying she was one of them. She never hung out with any of them. Billy and Vern Tessio were her neighbors; she had no other relationship with them or their friends. They knew each other, they were civil towards each other (well, as civil as one could get with Ace and his gang), but she never hung out with either of them or their friends. She had no feelings towards any of the Cobras, romantic or otherwise, and she sure as hell wasn't dating any of them! She had her own friends, she had her own life.

"My. Name. Is. Not. Lenny!" With that, Helen ran back into her house, screaming along the way.

The guys just stood there, staring where she had once stood.

"Women, am I right guys?" Eyeball asked.

**The End.**


End file.
